26 Reasons to Fall
by Mummyluvr
Summary: The ABCs of why and how Dean and Cas are where they are: far from Grace. 26 drabbles, not necessarily connected. Dean/Castiel with a little Sam/Ruby thrown in because I apparently can’t have one without the other.
1. Asking

**Title:** 26 Reasons to Fall

**Summary:** The ABCs of why and how Dean and Cas are where they are: far from Grace. 26 drabbles, not necessarily connected. Dean/Castiel with a little Sam/Ruby thrown in because I apparently can't have one without the other.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Spoilers:** Through 4.10

**A/N:** A lot of these were originally scenes from fics that don't have solid enough plots right now to actually be full-fledged stories. That's why some are so long. All 26 to be posted at once.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters. Heck, maybe I don't even own the situations. Maybe I'm watching with my slash goggles, but it seems like Kripke's sweet on a certain pairing…

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_Asking_

Dean had spent most of his childhood asking God for a friend. For an angel. Because, in his mind, an angel wouldn't judge him like all the kids in all the schools. An angel would accept him no matter what, for all his flaws.

The day that Dean meet Castiel, he went to a church. He knelt in a pew, stared at a cross, and whispered his thanks to the heavens. He didn't know that he was being watched by a pair of wide blue eyes.


	2. Baptism

_Baptism_

It was something he never would have done in a million years, had it not been the only way. Dean had finally gotten up the courage, forced himself to admit his feelings, and had actually been told that it was possible. For the first time in his life, it was looking like he could get something that he wanted. There was just one catch.

"Do you trust me?"

Dean smiled and nodded, closed his eyes, held his breath, crossed his arms over his chest, and let the angel dunk him into the cool waters of the river, cleansing his soul.


	3. Cheat

_Cheat_

Someone had keyed his car. The headlights had been busted out. The tires had been slashed. A very familiar name had been carved into the backseat, right where the apparent crime had been committed. He smirked. Who knew angels listened to Carrie Underwood?


	4. Destiny

_Destiny_

Castiel questioned. He doubted. He knew he wasn't supposed to do these things, but he did them anyway. He did them because he was in love, and he knew that _definitely_ wasn't supposed to happen.

He had to wonder why his Father would send him straight into temptation. Was it a test? Was it some kind of reward? Was he a gift, made especially for Dean and wrapped in a rather (if he was being completely honest) attractive vessel?

Was it meant to be, or was he simply grasping at straws before falling to his doom?


	5. Elephant

_Elephant_

Sam didn't mention it the first time the angel spent the night. Or the second. Or the third.

Seven was the magic number.


	6. Falling

_Falling_

Uriel came for them eventually, his borrowed face turned down into a grimace of deepest loathing and disgust. He was sent to kill Dean. Save the angel by eliminating the temptation.

Castiel killed him, falling hard and fast as his brightly glowing hand penetrated the black man's stomach.


	7. Gay

_Gay_

It took him three weeks to finally get up the nerve to ask if God really made gay angels.

"Of course," Castiel said, something like humor dancing in his eyes. "We _are_ allowed the pleasure of happiness."

He was gone before Dean could clarify.


	8. Happiness

_Happiness_

The pleasure of happiness, by the way, was something that neither of them had really experienced before. Not truly.

Turns out you don't really know what you've been missing until you finally have it.


	9. Ipecac

_Ipecac_

The question- what does Heaven look like?- had been innocent enough. The response- can I show you?- had, as well. The result- two bodies tangled together, teeth clicking, tongues warring in joined mouths- was odd.

And then Dean felt it. Warmth, seeping into him from the point where they were connected. Light, surrounding him. A voice that he knew but somehow didn't telling him to close his eyes.

And then he saw it. And it was beautiful. He'd have to make fun of Castiel's methods later.


	10. John

_John_

Some days, when they weren't running from Heaven or Hell, Dean would look up at the sky and wonder what his father thought of him. He knew the man couldn't be proud.

Those were the nights that he was extra quiet in bed, just so he could hear everything that Sam and Ruby were doing in the next room. Somehow, hearing them made him feel better. At least Cas wasn't a demon. Yet.


	11. Kids

_Kids_

He sat on a bench in a park, watching a five-year-old version of himself being chased around the nearly-abandoned playground by Castiel. He enjoyed this dream. He liked it when the angel caught the boy and lifted him high, praised him, told him things that he'd always wanted to hear.

He liked it even more when he turned and found the same angel sitting beside him, watching the scene with him, running fingers loosely through his hair and whispering the same encouragements in time with the dream.


	12. Lights

_Lights_

The town was laid out before them, silent and covered in snow, lights twinkling up from the valley. Dean turned to his companion, slipping a hand into his, still marveling at the way they seemed to _fit_. "Merry Christmas, man."

"You do realize that Christ was not born in the winter, right?"

"Nobody likes a smartass, Cas."


	13. Makeover

_Makeover_

Dean lasted two days before a trip to the nearest Wal-Mart. "Jeans and a t-shirt, dude. I'm telling you, you'll thank me later."

And he did. Six hours later. When they were both undressed in record time.


	14. Nightmare

_Nightmare_

They were getting worse and worse, eliciting small moans, growls of pain, twitching muscles, ragged breaths, and sleepless nights. Eventually, the cure was discovered and refined down to an art: cool hands on a sweat-drenched brow, soft words spoken with loving conviction, and two bodies curled together in the morning.


	15. Only

_Only_

Dean was halfway towards their first kiss before he realized what he was doing and stopped. It was wrong on so many levels, wrong because the man sitting next to him was a _man_, and wrong because he _wasn't_. He was _inside_ some poor bastard, and Dean may have been a degenerate scum-bag, but he wasn't about to rape an innocent person just to get his kink on with an angel.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked, finally identifying the hesitation for what it was.

"I can't… you're not alone."

The angel smiled. "He's gone, Dean. Killed in battle long ago. You and I are the only ones in this room."

That was all the go-ahead he needed.


	16. Politics

_Politics_

It took him four months to find out that the vessel was actually a realtor named Misha. Which lead to Dean asking if he could see Russia from his house.

"He's from Massachusetts."


	17. Question

_Question_

Dean was different. A mystery. He made Castiel… _think._ Not that that was a bad thing. Nor was it new. He had thought before. He had just never had conflicting thoughts. He had never questioned his Father or his orders. He had never questioned anything other than the choice of others to Fall. The choice of Lucifer and his angels to disobey God, of Anna to become human, of Azazel and his followers to take human lovers.

However, Azazel was starting to seem an intelligent individual. The humans were colorful. Especially the ones with faded leather jackets and shining hazel eyes.


	18. Realization

_Realization_

If you were to ask him when he first figured it out, he'd tell you it was that night with Anna. They were in the back of the Impala and she was on top of him and she hesitated for that split second before putting her hand to Castiel's mark and he _knew_. He knew.


	19. Snow

_Snow_

"What is that?"

Dean moved to the window and gazed out at the parking lot. A light dusting of snow was covering the cars, meaning that he would have to be extra careful when leaving the next morning. "That, my dear angel of the Lord," he replied with a smirk. "Is God's dandruff."


	20. Tears

_Tears_

The day that Uriel finally made good on his threat to send Dean back, Castiel couldn't be found. It rained.


	21. Undress

_Undress_

"Seriously," Dean said, his voice thick and tired. "You ever get back up there, Cas, you've gotta thank your Boss for Wal-Mart. I mean, I was getting so bored before, I was fantasizing about the weirdest shit just waiting to get started."

"And what, exactly, were you fantasizing about?"

Dean grinned. Leave it to him to pick the kinky one_._ "Well, I was thinking, if anyone were to write porn about us and, like, post it up on the internet or something, it would suck. And not just because people that post stuff on the internet suck at writing. The entire first half of the story would have to be us taking off our clothes because we have so many layers, and after that, realistically, you'd just be too tired."

"Really? Me?"

"Well, yeah. I've got stamina, but you…?"

Much to Dean's apparent dismay (and secret delight), many an internet porn writer has already filled in the rest…


	22. Virgin

_Virgin_

It was a stupid fight, he knew. A stupid fight, but their first, and it had to happen sometime, right? It was over the stupidest thing, too. Dean's unwillingness to talk and share. Funny, but he'd thought being with a mind-stalker angel had taken that out of the equation.

And then the word _fix_ was dropped in. Like it slipped in instead of _help._ And Dean just wasn't gonna let that one go. "You can't fix me, Cas. I'm too broken."

"I can try," the angel muttered. "I _tried_."

Dean glanced down as his flawless skin, marked only by a handprint and tattoo, and knew it to be the truth.


	23. Women

_Women_

He didn't look at women anymore. Well, obviously, he looked. It was hard to avoid them. But he never _looked._ He'd lost the urge. And, as odd as it was to realize that, it was odder still to find that he didn't miss it.


	24. Xray

_X-ray_

Those blue eyes bored into him, seeing through him, straight into his soul, and Dean couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't already been sent back to Hell. Couldn't Castiel _see_? Couldn't those freakishly wide eyes look into his mind and find the horrible thoughts, the lustful ideas, the memories of torture? Why was he still standing?


	25. Young

_Young_

Castiel was old by Dean's standards, young by his own. Maybe that was why he'd Fallen, why he'd felt. Maybe that was why he'd dared to let himself care so deeply about the human with the guarded soul and the hurting eyes. Maybe that was why his punishment hadn't been as severe as possible. He was simply a child.


	26. Zoo

_Zoo_

Uriel stopped by to gloat only once after Castiel Fell. It was late at night, and Cas had woken, curled in Dean's arms, to find the angel staring at him from the darkness, wearing an expression of purest hate. He'd slid instinctively closer to the hunter, feeling vulnerable, like an animal (_monkey_) on display, and Uriel had disappeared with a laugh. The forces of Heaven hadn't bothered them since. He was grateful for that.

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There you have it. All 2.6 Happy Thanksgiving, all. Don't be afraid to comment/review! Thanks for reading.


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